Optimistic Realism

I would say I’m a pretty realistic person.  I really try to see things in a realistic way, give people realistic answers, have realistic expectations, and live a realistic life.

I also try to be optimistic.  This is hard for me sometimes because realistically, things don’t always turn out positively.  I think my strength in this, though, is that I find the best out of bad experiences.

I once heard that President Hinckley called himself an optimistic realist.  I want to be the same.  I find that I am happiest when I can do that.  When I can see things for what they really are but to also see them for what they can be.  This kind of goes along with the Thomas Theorem which states: “If someone defines something as being real, it is real in it’s consequences”.  When we can see somewhat for what they really are and then see them for what they might become, we are better able to treat them as they might become and they will eventually live up to that treatment.

We can do the same with situations.  Assess a situation, and try to look at it realistically (for all intents and purposes of this blog, we shall use the experience of Same Gender Attraction, or whatever it is we are calling it these days).

When I finally faced the fact that I am gay and a Mormon, I didn’t want to face the realities of it (rejection, a single/”sinful” life/life of lies, misunderstanding, hatred from self and outside sources, etc.).  It was so overwhelming.  As I came to terms with this fact, reality set in a little bit more.  I had told a few friends and family, and had positive experiences with it.  I was still scared of those realities listed above, but I also learned of other realities that come along with my experience (love, understanding, help, compassion, friendship).

Once I was able to see things in the spectrum of my reality, I was able to see things more clearly.  When I had a good grasp on what was really going on, I could make the best of my situation. I began to explore the positive possibilities of my future life – that is,  being single and all that entails – having the job I want, going where I want to go, and doing what I want to do – free of restraints I would have had otherwise.

I am optimistic about the future.  I still am not completely certain of what will come and where I might go, but I am excited about it all.  I feel like I have a realistic grasp on what my life might consist of (the positive and the negative) and I’m facing it with the best attitude I can.  I will make the best of what may come and look forward to what I will learn.

Bring it on.

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One Response

  1. I love this post. I’m not totally sure where I stand on whether or not same sex attraction can be changed, but I’m convinced that if it is possible, the person has to first absolutely accept and embrace their homosexuality before they can even think about moving past it. To effectively change any situation I think you have to fully accept and acknowledge the reality of what your current situation is.

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